Michael Koleman

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Me and Robin Williams (and some very cagey looking woman in the background.) Robin's a very generous guy.

My old fake ID shot. I was trying to pass as twenty one. Ha! I looked so seventeen. But it worked. I can't believe this thing actually got me into bars. Bouncers must have been even dumber back then. Long live the Coastline.

Where's MY helmet?

Not braiggin', but I was in a national magazine or two. Nobody cares. Paid nice though.

Me with Kevin Meaney, Cory Kahaney, and Freddy Roman. This was at a Friars golf and tennis thing they do. I beat all their asses at tennis, which wasn't hard because they were all 70, then performed in front of them that night. My opening line was "I read in Melvin Helitzer's "Comedy Writing Secrets" that the key to having a good comedy set is beating the audience at tennis right before you go on." TEPID response. I looked around -- not one other tall, skinny, smart-ass German guy in the room. This is the kind of picture that I've spent my career going out of my way NOT to get because I always figured if it ain't goin' on the famous guy's wall... Ah, well, ego's just too damn big. Could've had some keepers.

Production still from a slasher movie I was in. Mashed up bananas and fake blood. Hope I don't really go like this. If I do, they'll be showing this picture an awful lot.

An actual still from the same blood and guts movie. Look at that intensity. Just look at it...I play a good psycho, but one day I think I really will flip. Gotta get to work on my manifesto. Gonna start by looking up "manifesto."

My new fake ID shot.

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